Valentines

Sometimes, things happening around us are difficult to write down at the time. We are all busy or embarrassed to do so immediately or the activities are unresolved, concerning, or at least incomplete, so writing them down a little later on is a lot easier to do. 

Here is an example…

It’s Sunday afternoon on a cold, snowy winter day here in Provo, 16 December 1984. Last week was finals at BYU, and I concluded my tests just last night. Because of school, work, and many other things which seem to take all of my time, I have procrastinated writing down many of the feelings of my heart during this very special time Linda and I are spending together. I would like to capture as many of those things about our engagement and relationship as I can remember.

During spring semester at BYU, I took a second-year social dance class, PED 280. I often attended dances during the weekends to practice moves that I had learned, meet new people, and have a good time. It was the second weekend in June and, like usual, there was a dance at school planned. This one was in the Garden Court. Typical of most dances, it started slowly but was soon under full sway. I danced with several girls, then seeing Linda, I asked her if she would like to dance with me. She consented. As we made our way onto the dance floor, I introduced myself and asked about her as well. She told me her name and her major briefly, and we began tearing up the floorboards (figuratively speaking). In talking with her, I found she too had taken a second year social dance class, so we began boogying to some of the dances we both knew. After a few minutes of dancing, we thanked one another and went our separate ways. I took a turn with several other girls in the space of about 20 minutes and then sat on the back of an empty chair to take a quick breather.

I hadn’t been there for two minutes when Linda walked by. Remembering her name, which was unusual being that I just danced with other girls and didn’t remember their names, I motioned to Linda, called her by name, and asked if she would like to rest a minute. She sat beside me, and we talked. Immediately, I recognized how comfortable and relaxed I felt being with her, and soon we began dancing again. We had a really good time together that evening. It’s not often that I found someone who could dance all the dances that I had learned in my class. After we had tried all the steps we both knew from the classes we had taken, we taught each other a few more moves one of us knew: swing, two-step, whatever. I remember having a wonderful time, and much sooner than I wanted, the dance ended. We had spent nearly the whole evening together, save the first few dances. I walked with her to her car, and she offered to drive me to mine, which was on the other side of campus. All the while we talked and laughed, and I had a great time. As I climbed out of her car, I told her that I would call her during the coming week. She said “You better!” And we said goodnight.

As she drove away, I got in my car and drove straight back to the ELWC. I went to the information center and began looking through the student directory, which at that time were big loose-leaf binders of papers listing students' names alphabetically. I found Linda’s name and wrote down her address and phone number from the student directory. Having done that, I went home happy and satisfied.

During the coming week, I thought about her a lot. I wanted to ask her out, but I didn’t know what we would do. I found that my ward had planned an activity the coming Saturday—a trip to Sundance for the summer theater. I knew that was just perfect, so I called Linda and asked her if she would like to go out. To my delight, she consented. I told her we would have a picnic lunch and asked her to bring the sandwiches and that I would provide the rest. When I hung up the phone I remember feeling so good. I was on top of the world.

There are a couple other things I want to mention regarding this story.

First, when I called Linda initially, I asked for “Elaine.” That was because when I looked up her information, I wrote down her full name—Linda Elaine Mann—and as I spoke, I was nervous and mixed up the names. The girl I was speaking to said “You must have the wrong number. There isn’t an Elaine who lives here.” My heart dropped. Flustered, I stopped…thought…wondered…then realized my mistake and said “Oh! Oops I meant Linda! Is Linda there?” To which the girl responded “Yes. Just a moment.” Embarrassed, I explained to her what happened. Whoo! That was a close one.

Second, a week or two earlier a few young men had been invited to a nice Sunday dinner by some of the girls in our student ward. It was a delightful time, and everyone raved about the delicious meal our host had made. It was great. Toward the end of the dinner, she said there was pie and went into the kitchen to get it. The other girls in the room raved about what a great cook she was and that she really out did herself when making pie. “She actually whipped the cream from scratch!”

At the time, I kept to myself the fact that not only had I whipped cream from scratch, but I milked the cow and skimmed the cream before whipping it all on my own. Of course I said nothing at the time, but when I got home to Robyn’s, I recounted this experience to her and mentioned in passing “If I ever find a girl that makes my sandwiches with whole wheat bread, I am going to marry her.”

Back to the story. The week dragged by. I was supposed to be focusing on school, but all I could think about was Linda and our upcoming date. I wanted it to be perfect. I bought a large bags of chips, grapes, cut up some carrots and celery sticks, and baked a chocolate cake in a dripper pan. I frosted the cake with homemade chocolate icing and put it all in a cooler that I borrowed from Robyn. When I finally went to pick up Linda on Friday, she was sweet as cream and carried a brown paper bag with her. We had a delightful visit as we drove to Sundance and began the trek up the mountain with our goodies for our picnic dinner before the play began. When we arrived at the outdoor theater, we found a place on the hill and layed down a quilt on the grass for our supper. I pulled out the drinks, chips, grapes, carrot slices, celery sticks, and gigantic chocolate cake I had made. She probably had to cover her rolling eyes “This guy is nuts!” I was proud as a peacock and thought this was the beginning of something really good.

We were both right.

Linda opened the brown paper bag with the sandwiches she had brought. They were on whole wheat bread. The rest is history.

What you might not remember is that after our first date, Linda was leaving for Ventura two weeks later to enjoy the summer with her mother. We spent pretty much the entire time together. I convinced her to store her minimal school belongings in Robyn's garage, rather than paying for a small rental unit like she usually did while she was changing apartments—good move on my part.

We were engaged in September, though we were not married until the next May. Not really typical, but well worth the wait.

Valentines Day is a really special day when we get to honor our families, cherish our wives, and stand proud and happy to acknowledge our sweet children--sons, daughters, sons-in-law, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren. It really does get better every day!

And for that, I am grateful for the best thing that ever happened to me--your mother.

I love you all.
dad

Reminiscing in spades

This post is really being written just for me.

I had a couple experiences today that were really amazing when they produced feelings of my childhood and reasons I am glad to have recollections of the good times of former days. It all started when I saw a YouTube video of some horses.

This conjured up memories of great times in Castle Valley riding horses bareback with my brother Gregg. We were just young pups at the time, and the wild horses in the valley were beautiful and enormous, just like these. Great times and wonderful memories.



Then I experienced another memory with a classic music video from Josh Groban. When I watched it play, I was reminded of working on the homestead with my dad to situate our home in Castle Valley and position farm equipment all around the property.



These videos and tunes bring back a few of the cherished memories that mean so much to me today. Castle Valley was the pivotal experience of my youth, and I have shared stories of that ocassion many times with all of you.

Now we are making our own family memories like baseball and soccer and bike riding and hiking and camping and going on trips together. I am so glad I get to do that with all of you! Yes. This post is really a way for me to express my appreciation and recognize the bounteous blessings I have been so fortunate to enjoy.



I have a lot more memories of you and our family together. That means the world to me now. I'm so glad we get to do it again this Thanksgiving.

It's my way of saying thank you for sharing your wonderful lives with me--little 'ole me.

I love you

Over-the-hill pickle ballers blog

This is the over-the-hill pickle ballers blog postings

No regrets

Hard times. They seem to be prolific now-a-days.

Frustration, mistakes, failed second chances; this applies towards the challenges in life and eternity, too…or does it?

Some may typically think that the Atonement is limited to helping those that have broken the commandments and need forgiveness, and indeed it does that. But the Atonement also empowers us when we fall short in other ways as well. For example, when we face obstacles that divert our course and our best is not enough, we needn't give up and submit to failure. We are not alone. The ability and confidence initiated by the Atonement of Jesus Christ empowers us to try again with the confidence and knowledge that we will ultimately achieve success. The challenges in life have not yet molded us to become the people that we can eventually become, so we try again and again. Let me illustrate this with a story. 

Years ago I was walking between campus and home when a friend passed by in a vehicle with his family. He smiled and waved. And wanting to return this courtesy, I too showed I was happy to see him, so I waved my hand in response. Admittedly, I was a little taken back at how excited this family was to see me, so I kept waving and walking. I noticed how animated and joyful these folks were, even the children were waving their hands now. Some of them were holding both hands up in surprise. With my attention turned to this friend, I walked directly into a stop sign. They had been trying to alert me to my pending collision. My intentions were good, my efforts sincere, but the outcome wasn't pleasant.  Well it was long after the embarrassment subsided and the bump on my head disappeared that I finally learned a lesson from this experience. Sometimes our intentions are the only control we have over a situation and despite our best efforts, they alone are not enough. But add to our good intentions the Atonement of Jesus Christ and even our shortcomings are more than sufficient because His infinite gift restores all things to their proper form. How is that done? I have no idea, but I know Who does. And that is really all that matters.

I follow a blog about a particular family that adopted children from Ethiopia and the miracle these children have been in their lives. I was first introduced to this experience through a beautiful video that touched me deeply when I watched it. I admired the man and woman and their family, but I got busy and soon lost track of the event and turned my attention to other things.

Life has been busy, and I failed to keep current reading new blog posts...until today. When I visited the page, I was horrified to hear that one of these beautiful children was taken in a car accident. Dozens of well-wishers extended sympathy and words of comfort to heal a broken family and particularly the mother. Their faith carries them through each day.

We all experience loss. But because of Jesus Christ, our sadness need not linger. The great plan of happiness extends the renewing power of God's love and the miracle of his grace into your life.

And when times are tough and hope is all we have, we derive comfort through our confidence in Him.

Rising above Trials

“Is there not wisdom in [Heavenly Father] giving us trials that we might rise above them, responsibilities that we might achieve, work to harden our muscles, sorrows to try our souls? Are we not exposed to temptations to test our strength, sickness that we might learn patience, death that we might be immortalized and glorified?

 “If all the sick for whom we pray were healed, if all the righteous were protected and the wicked destroyed, the whole program of the Father would be annulled and the basic principle of the gospel, free agency, would be ended. No man would have to live by faith.”

President Spencer W. Kimball (1895–1985), Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball (2006), 15.

Another miracle

Miracle on ice

A few years ago, there was an instance where a young bunch of amateur hockey athletes beat the top rated hockey professional team from Russia. It was a noteworthy victory and became a well known movie. 

I love grand parenting for many reasons, but the foremost includes welcoming the great little grand children into our home and sharing a few exquisite moments together. 

We recently had an incident occur in my home that was similar to the miracle on ice in many ways and also very different. This paper is an attempt to capture this experience now for generations to come. 

Just yesterday, Camie brought a couple of her boys down with her, so Emily could do her hair. It was great. Fitz and Enzo played in the backyard and jumped on the trampoline while Cam got her hair done in the upstairs salon. I asked Enzo to help me a few minutes. We went down stairs and got a parcel of of toilet paper wrapped in plastic. Enzo worked hard to carry this massive package (compared to him) up the stairs. He filled the holders in each of the bathrooms. I then had to run an errand, so I stepped out for a minute. 

When I returned, the 6-foot glass mirror that had been leaning against the wall on the stairway landing was resting at the bottom of the stairs, glass up. I thought that Mom must be trying to rearrange the room and left the mirror at the bottom of the stairs to get my help positioning it elsewhere. 

It turns out that Enzo had been playing on the stairs and somehow this massive mirror toppled over on him while I was out of the house. When I asked Emily to share with me details and what she knows, this is what she he said “We didn’t see it so I don’t know exactly what happened, but here is what I think happened. I think he was leaning against the mirror his back towards the mirror just hitting it with his bum (cause he was doing that to the mirror in my salon) and he hit it hard enough for the mirror to stand straight up and topple over him so he was pushed to the ground on his belly and then the mirror slid down the stairs.” She mentioned that the mirror was at the bottom of the stairs glass facing down when they found it. 

Just as I mentioned to Camilla, I told Emily that Enzo was protected from serious harm. I have no doubt.

There seems to be a theme of protection here in our family. I had an experience as a small boy where my dad told me not to fiddle with a door that had been removed from its hinges in Leslie’s room. I fiddled, and it ended up falling on me, but that’s not all. Robyn recounts a time my mother narrowly escaped harm, when a sheet of glass fell on her in our SLC home. 

“A large sheet of glass in the garage... don't recall what it was for... probably for some construction project. It was very large, like patio door size. Maybe Mom tripped and the sheet of glass fell on top of her. I have this memory in my mind of seeing her lying on her back... maybe on some stacked lumber (and maybe why she tripped?) she was covered in little pieces of glass. It was terrifying! I don't remember anything else... if Dad was home or what happened afterwards. I'm not certain if I saw what I described (I think I did) or if it was a picture created in my mind from hearing about it.”

Many of us have been protected from harm when things could have turned out much differently. 

Today the miracle was Enzo, and for that I am most grateful. 

Amazing Grace

Some think when bad things that happen, God is not part of the equation or not listening or doesn’t care. Others may feel this way when God allows hardship to occur. Their contention is that he doesn’t or couldn’t exist while allowing such injustices. 

“A loving God would never allow that kind of thing to happen to innocent people,” they contort.

The misfortunes and inequalities of life sometimes shake their faith. That’s not a new attitude or philosophy. Perceptions of this kind have existed for centuries. People have resorted to these kinds of explanations and still do. Maybe you are among them.

If so, why not try a different philosophy for a moment?

In my humble opinion, when we have difficult obstacles to face in life, that's when God shows increased love and concern in extreme measure. It is then that his power is most evident. With God's help in our lives, we can accomplish anything we set out to do, despite our own fallacies or weaknesses.

At these times is when God is closest to us. He always wants to lift and strengthen us.

Perhaps this is one reason we can withstand our difficulties. We are never alone, and our strength increases with him. 

Miracles happen all about us.

There are a lot of challenges in life. It is no surprise that we struggle when pelted with maliciously intended messages to separate, divide and pull us apart. We must be vigilant as we connect, unite, and celebrate the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If we can take just a moment to see God’s hand in our lives, it changes everything! 

Part of that is connecting with our friends, family, and acquaintances. We help each other see clearly now and especially when we are overwhelmed with challenges. Together, we can face and overcome the obstacles that confront us in life. Uniting means working with each other to discover and craft solutions to life’s obstacles. Then, overcoming our challenges is not so bad, and we can truly celebrate life now.

“But that is a lot easier said than done,” you might be thinking.. 

It has been said that some people carry their religions, but others allow their religion to carry them. I am among the latter. .

“Why?” you may ask. That is the topic I am addressing today.

Sometimes life throws curve balls your way. Everyone knows that. We have all experienced these occasions.

The gospel of Jesus Christ helps one through these hard times of course. But it also helps us get through our regular days and gives us hope and confidence when times are good. 

And there are plenty of those occasions as well. 

The point is that whatever state you find yourself and despite the myriad of challenges in your life .. or not, the truths of the gospel of Jesus Christ can help. 

That’s the simplicity of the situation.

The gospel of Jesus Christ improves us all.

And that is just the beginning of the amazing grace of Jesus Christ.

http://www.wivios.com/ventura-fire

Every day

I feel today that I would like to write a few words about my mom and the things I learned from her over a lifetime. 

This may not be the image that you remember when you think of my mom. I understand. It has been a lot of years since she looked like this. But this is the way I do and always have remembered her being. Her Stucki smile is legendary. I see it in my grand children today. She is the reason we smiled. She made sure of it in all our activities. And my dad was wise enough to know it was because of my mom.

Castle Valley is a term we use to describe the unlikely experience of achieving great things in the midst of very challenging circumstances.

You probably all tire of hearing that term repeated constantly, because on the forefront, Castle Valley is a life and a location for our farm in southern Utah. And today for many of us, it is simply a memory. But truth be told, it was a lot more than that.

This is important today because our experience in Castle Valley became a preparation for dealing with the hardships we encounter in life and overcoming them with faith and hard work. Our ancestors showed this kind of resilience in the face of their challenges. That simple truth helps us know that we are not alone in our trek today, and we can ride that wave victorious despite incredible odds.

Abraham Lincoln simply and briefly forever captured with few words in the Gettysburg Address the essence of the challenge facing this nation that once nearly tore it apart. He asked then whether a nation so conceived in liberty could long endure. The same question can be asked of the hearts of men amid the challenges facing folks today. 

My parents showed emotional resilience in the southern Utah community called Castle Valley. On that farm, they built a life and a legacy that has perpetuated time and the typical understanding of men. It eclipsed my comprehension when I was a young man as well, but I see what they did clearly now.

Emotional resilience is the ability to move forward despite setbacks. Overcoming obstacles placed in our way builds strength, character, and resilience.

Does a child show great emotional resilience because he doesn’t know any better? No. Children show great emotional resilience because they have hope. It is more than maturity or strength. It is integrity and faith .. two qualities we control. That’s how pioneers overcame their challenges. They believed in a dream and stuck it out until they and their posterity achieved it. That is how our ancestors made it through the challenges of their lives, and we achieve our goals the same way. Persistence and hard work cannot be overrated, but they too are not enough without faith. Integrity and faith are how we did Castle Valley. And those are the very same principles that get us through our lives of ease or hardship today.

What did I learn from my mom? She carved out a little piece of heaven despite facing overwhelming challenges. She stuck to it in the face of formidable obstacles. And she did it all with a smile on her face, and a dream in her heart, which gratefully spilled over onto us. We miss her terribly but enjoy her memory and anticipate every day our upcoming reunion soon.

Facing difficult challenges then has enabled me to confront similar obstacles without being overcome today. My point is not to belabor my challenges or claim my road has been harder than others, but the qualities I developed from performing these tasks like digging out the basement one bucket at a time have helped me endure the obstacles that confronted me and my family more recently.

When I am faced with raking the leaves that fall in our yard prior to each winter and feeling overwhelmed, I think of the 2-3 acre fields where we used to rake by hand the alfalfa for our animals. It was a humongous job looking back, but it was the only option at the time. And my parents insisted on it, probably because it taught us how to work and endure through challenges. It needed to be done, just like planting the 300 trees around the property. It was back-breaking work, but the benefits are still flowing.  Gregg and I dug dozens of fence post holes. It seemed like hundreds. Would I have done it differently then? Yes. Absolutely then, but looking back now, I wouldn't change a thing. It taught me lessons I needed to learn and built strength I needed to develop.

As I reminisce now, I wouldn’t do it any differently. Why? Because it was easy? No. It definitely wasn’t the easiest way. Because it was smart? No. Some thought at the time we had lost our minds. And on a few occasions when difficultly was staring us in the face, so did we. Because it was cool? No. There was nothing ‘cool’ about farm life at the time. 

I wouldn’t do it differently now because it was hard and taught me lessons I couldn’t learn any other way. Why would I ever consider losing the wisdom gained through the lessons of hard knocks?

Climbing Timp…it took me several attempts to summit the peak. For one reason or another, I tried to scale the mountain but was unable to complete the task. But I kept trying and eventually summited the 11,752-foot peak. Persistence paid off in the long run. It did then, and it will now.

And I know it from experience, and that is something I learned from Mom.