Fam,
You all know something about Castle Valley and the experiences we had during the 30+ years we lived there. But I want to share further detail in this regard. More specifically, I want to tell you about some of the things I learned about facing life's challenges.
You know that early in our Castle Valley experience Robyn's husband Guy was tragically killed in an automobile accident. Levi was only a month old at that time, and she moved back in with the family for various reasons. She lived in a small room barely big enough to hold a twin bed and a crib for Levi. The majority of her belongings and all of Guy's things were left in her house up the valley. It seems like it was just the following summer that her house burned down, which I learned on my way home from work. Then that fall, I had a serious automobile accident while traveling to football practice. The succession of tragic events was mind-boggling.
Robyn told me afterward that when her house burned down and she lost essentially all her possessions, including Guy's things and all her keepsakes, she was devastated and felt overwhelmingly burdened at the loss. Then not long after, I had my accident and spent two-and-a-half months in St. Mary's hospital in Grand Junction, CO. Suddenly out of necessity, Robyn focused outward at my life-and-death situation. Though I have forgotten her words exactly during this particular experience, she told me in essence later something like "Mathew, I thought my life was too burdensome, and that I had more obstacles before me then I could handle. But when you had your accident, it helped me focus on your situation, and my own problems became manageable. I don't know how I would have handled this sequence of burdens, otherwise," or something like that.
I thought I had written about this in my journal, but I couldn't find it when I went to locate it. So I asked Robyn if I could share this experience with all of you. Here is her response:
"I’m happy for you to share this experience with your family. I don’t remember my exact words, but I do remember my sentiments at the time. It is true that I did feel a huge sense of loss when I lost all in the fire. I felt that it was hard enough to lose Guy, but to then lose everything that I had of his and all that we had accumulated together felt overwhelming at the time. However, following your accident my perspective changed immediately and dramatically. I didn’t care so much about what I had lost in the way of possessions. That really didn’t matter anymore. Working with you in your critical situation and assisting the family in dealing with this trial caused me to put my own burdens out of my mind. It did cause me to focus outward (and upward, again) and that made all the difference."
So what can we learn from this? Service and compassion helps the giver as much or more than the receiver--both are edified. We are blessed when we focus outward. It occurs to me that's one reason parent's have such love and devotion for their children and one another is because they have given all they have and sacrificed so much for their children and spouse. That's not a given--parents and children can hold back--but those who give their all reap blessings of devotion, appreciation, and commitment.
We know that happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of... Jesus Christ.” That's what I learned from Robyn through this experience.
Our leaders have counseled us in this regard as well. Several years ago (2008), Joseph B. Wirthlin spoke about the principle of compensation. The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss.
President Kimball used the following analogy to help us understand the means of strengthening home and family:
"I like to compare the home evening, family prayer, and other associated activities of the Church for the saving of the family, when they are conscientiously carried out, with an umbrella. If the umbrella is not opened up, it is little more than a cane and can give little protection from the storms of nature. Likewise, God-given plans are of little value unless they are used.
The umbrella spread out makes the silken material taut. When the rain falls, it runs off; when the snow falls, it slides off; when the hail comes, it bounces off; when the wind blows, it is diverted around the umbrella. And in like manner, this spiritual umbrella wards off the foes of ignorance, superstition, skepticism, apostasy, immorality, and other forms of godlessness." It is my prayer that we will all spread (use) our spiritual umbrellas for the protection of our families.
Family is where our happiness lies. Will you work with me to apply these values to strengthen our home, family, and personal commitment to God?
I testify that adherence to the gospel of Jesus Christ will bring real happiness and renewed hope into our lives, especially amid hardship. Those who follow these principles and hold fast to the iron rod will receive the promised blessings now in this life and an eternal reward reunited with loved ones in the world to come.
That's the hope we have in Jesus Christ.
I love you, dad
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