I recently had an experience, I want to share with all of you. As I was thinking about what to call this email, several different subject names came to mind. I considered at least the following:
- Lessons learned
- The Perfect Day
- Handling hardship
Well, you will see I chose something different for the title of this email. "Why?" you ask. That's where the story begins. On October 14th of this year I was laid off from my job. It happened suddenly, and I told myself that I didn't want to worry anyone, so I swore your mother to secrecy.
Recently, the family went down to St. George to visit Randy and Penny for Naly's homecoming. It was marvelous. She shared wonderful experiences from her mission and bore and strong and fervent testimony. We met her trainer Rachael, who came with her husband, Landon, and also stayed with Randy and Penny. We were able to see all the cousins and enjoyed one another's company. We actually got to see Aunt Mary, too. After a marvelous Thai dinner prepared by Penny, as we were wrapping up the visit, we went around the circle of family members to get an update and have them tell about what is going on in their lives. We heard the neat activities each one is involved in. But as my turn approached, I started to get nervous about revealing that I had been laid off. I told myself "I don't want to concern them" and "They have enough to worry about." And when it came my turn, I just kind of smoothed it over and pretty much said things were fine and hadn't really changed--no big deal, right? Well, I thought about it the whole way home and struggled with my reasoning. I knew it wasn't really true, but I considered my choice to be an act of thoughtfulness because I didn't want to overly worry Randy and Penny or their family. But still I struggled. Is that what I really should have done? My children were listening and waiting to see what I said. I had the opportunity handed to me on a silver platter, but instead of running with it, I sort of stumbled and fell in the heat of the moment. (eg crashed and burned)
So I continued to wrestle with my actions through the night. What was to come of all this? Finally, this morning I had a sort of epiphany. Really, I just looked at the situation from the standpoint of what really happened. This is what I came up with:
- I am lying to myself by saying that I don't want to burden others with my problems. Instead, I don't share the news because I am ashamed. But how bogus is that? This life is full of challenges. Nobody expects us to live in a perfect world without mishap, and the actions of someone else does not my value make. "The Perfect Day" is a great advertising slogan, but it does not represent real life.
- Hardship is part of life. I will share a great quote with you that Naly used in her talk in this regard, but I am waiting for her to send me the reference. Instead of hiding the hardship we face and pretending it doesn't exist, we should recognize it for what it is--a challenge--and then work together to overcome it.
- I missed an opportunity to share the burden with others who are loving, forgiving, and supportive and specifically missed a chance to talk about it with Randy. He knows something about the challenges of being laid off. My sharing what I am doing to rectify the situation could be a blessing to him and all you children as well. Why am I so nervous or scared to share it with others?
- Honestly, we are fine. The Lord advised us through His prophet to put away enough for a rainy day. We have that because we followed His counsel. Grandpa, too, always encouraged us children to follow this counsel and get out of debt and put a little away for the hard times that are sure to come.
To wrap up this thought, I will just say that obstacles in this life are to be expected. Let's come together to overcome them. We have nothing to be ashamed of, but we have everything to gain by pooling our resources to overcome hardship. That's why the Lord has organized families and church and numerous resources in our behalf.
To borrow someone else's words: The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. And so it is with our family. Together we are much more powerful, convincing, and capable than we are individually.
Remember that lesson!
Please forgive me for my shortsighted actions.
I love you, dad
I will order all things for thy good...
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