Forgiveness -- you have nothing to lose

In previous letters, I have told you about some of my heros. Another one I may not have mentioned is Helaman. He is big. He is strong. He's a faithful leader and an example of bravery--but that's not all. He also knows the source of his strength. Helaman 5:12

"And now, my sons (and daughters), remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when (not if) the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall."

We know that because we are mortal, we shall be tried and tested; we knew that when we chose to come to to earth. And even though we may consistently choose the right, we will not be spared from the storms of life. The "mighty winds" of illness, financial challenges, death, accidents, and natural catastrophes will not escape us. But we are told that the storm will have no power over us to drag us down because of the rock upon which we are built.

I think we are all familiar with the parable of the wise and the foolish men; the one built his house on the rock, the other built his on the sand. Even the Primary children can tell us what happened when the rains came down and the floods came up.

If our faith and our lives are built on the rock, on the gospel of Jesus Christ, we will be able to understand and better withstand the storms that beat upon us. When we allow our Church friends to hurt our feelings, when our home teachers and visiting teachers forget we are on their routes for months at a time, when we suffer the frailties of men, it will be easier to forgive and to understand because of that faith.

"Is there someone in your life who perhaps needs forgiveness? Is there someone in your home, someone in your family … who has done an unjust or an unkind or an unchristian thing? All of us are guilty of such transgressions, so there surely must be someone who yet needs your forgiveness." Jeffrey R. Holland

Don’t treasure up past wrongs, reprocessing them again and again. In a marriage relationship, festering is destructive; forgiveness is divine (see Doctrine and Covenants 64:9–10).

Plead for the guidance of the Spirit of the Lord to forgive wrongs …, to overcome faults, and to strengthen relationships." Dallin H. Oaks

The spirit must be freed from tethers so strong and feelings never put to rest, so that the lift of life may give buoyancy to the soul. In many families, there are hurt feelings and a reluctance to forgive. It doesn’t really matter what the issue was. It cannot and should not be left to injure. Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals." Thomas S. Monson

When Steven was a little boy, he came to me saying "Dad, some of the boys at school just goof off when the teacher tells them to run laps, or they say they ran them when they really didn't. It's not fair."

I said "You're right. Some don't follow their leaders and run laps like they are supposed to, but who does it really hurt? Is it the teacher? No. Are the other students who ran the whole distance hurt? No. They may feel it is unfair, but they got the exercise and benefit for doing so. If anyone was hurt, it's the students that were slacking. They didn't get the satisfaction of properly completing the task, the benefit from exercise, or realize the improved endurance and stamina that the others did who faithfully obeyed the teacher."

And so it is with those that hold a grudge and refuse to forgive others. They lose friends, acceptance, good feelings, and the satisfaction of forgiving others. Plus they must suffer for their own sins. (see Doctrine and Covenants 19:17,18)

When you forgive others, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.